Decisions to be made

 

One would think that having many creative interests is a blessing.

There’s never boredom, everything artsy in a five mile radius sparkles like glitter, and there is consistently a new project on the list. There is the not-so-cheery side of this coin and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately (me and my ever-growing list). Could it be that I’m fickle? Am I like an 8th grade girl who flits from one amorous, cute boy to the next? Do I choose a project, letting it seep into my consciousness to the point of insomnia…and then, when the glitter has dulled, jump to the  deck of another ship? In my defense (this is me defending me to me) there have been a lot of completed projects in the past twelve years of this creative awakening.

Good ones.

There have been projects that take months (book writing was a surprising one for me—I loved the pace of it) and projects that I go a million miles a minute with for 48 hours. Yet, there is always the pack of Mean Girls taking up valuable cerebral real estate who voice their opinions….loudly. These are the same voices who tell me that I must embrace an Official Title if I want to be taken seriously. Photographer. Writer. Teacher. Artist.

“Who are you, anyway?” the Mean Girls whisper.

In this age of embracing multi-tasking and slash careers (i.e. writer/artist) you’d think that I could just rest in that…go with the creative flow, choosing whatever the heck I want to do. Yet, there’s the “making a living” thing (minor detail) and all of the expectations that come from others who choose to invest in what you do. Is she a writer? Will she make an appointment to photograph my dog? Will she disappear for weeks to work on art projects? There are days I ask myself these questions too, in fear of being seen as a flighty artist who just can’t decide who she is.

This I know: the necessity to make a living with the art puts an intense pressure on the directions artists go. I witnessed this firsthand observing my own yes’s when they should have been no’s. I  think if you have the luxury of eliminating the “what I have to dos” to stay afloat there is great power in the muse showing up and great output in all areas.

I’m trying to let go of the desire to have one creative role in my life. I have a list of roles in others I’ve coveted from afar: the photographer who travels the world throughout her life capturing what needs to be said in images, the writer who churns out two books a year, the artist who slaves away in her studio day after day producing work that the world is waiting for, the interior designer who leaves magic in every client’s home for years on end. I’ve always been in awe of creatives who can stick it out in their medium for a whole career. I find it very admirable and at times there’s some serious envy in there.

So it comes to a time when

passions

must

remain

passions,

providing freedom to go in any direction at any given time.

And

callings

turn

into

careers.

I’ve known the calling for awhile now…the wheels are in motion. Tune in Friday as I hash it out here on the blog…it will feel good to write it out loud.

One of my favorite quotes as of late from Erin at Design for Mankind (whole post is great)

The trick, I suppose, is knowing what we’re hungry for and which priorities take precedent over the other. They change, as do we.

* * *

Happy week, Lovelies—I hope you’re witnessing some daffodils popping their heads out of the ground…I’m so happy to see them!

OX.

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2 Responses to Decisions to be made

  1. Pam says:

    I have the same problem. I go from thing to thing but feel like master of none. All the ladies in my group automatically say “I’m a painter” or “I make jewelry” or “I am a fiber artist”. I usually say “I do lots of things – but I love my camera and my watercolors”. I just keep thinking the right thing hasn’t grabbed me yet? Or that maybe as my son gets older I will be able to focus more? It bothers me sometimes and then life gets in the way and I have to forget about it for a while.Maybe it will hit me one day 😉

  2. Lynne B says:

    Great post, food for thought. Your post reminded me of a interview of Tony Bennett from a few years ago. In the interview Tony spoke of being known for his music but he said he is just as passionate about being a painter and how he needs the two forms of artistry in order to feel inspired. He said at times he is very focused on his music but after a time he begins feeling bored so he will then go into his studio and paint for several days and when he tires of painting he returns back to his music. One form of art inspiring the other form of art within his soul. I love the fact that you are interested in so many different creative avenues, it shines thru in your work. I see so much depth in you. Everything in life is a big balancing act but I think for myself I am not puritanical when it comes to being creative, I seem to have my hands in lots of different projects at all times. There is a method to my madness…I hope. Hugs to you sweet Lara!

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