Way back when, I picked up a film camera to capture my newborn baby. I became an obsessed, crazed woman. Everything was photography, photography, photography. Maybe you can relate?
I heard Kelly Rae Roberts on a podcast recently. She referred to her beginnings with art being like a
Hmmm…when I think about it, that was a bit how it was in our house. I wanted to spend time with that thing like nobody’s business. I took it everywhere, red marks on my shoulders and all. I sponged up all the info I could online about my new “man”. I read and read and read (especially while babe was napping) and spent far too many dollars on developing roll after roll….nervously wringing my hands all the way to the photo place. Would my $15 be worth it? Were there any shots worthy of hanging on my walls?
Then digital came into the picture (haha) and it got even WORSE with how much time this boyfriend was taking away from my mom/wife duties. I woke up wanting to play and shoot and download (Yee-haw! No more costly rolls to develop) and pretty much revolved my every waking moment around who, what and where I could shoot.
Editing…the. night. away.
That came next. I could go until 2 am perfecting each photo for my clients (and my own artsy stuff). It was insanity. It went down like this for a very long time until I realized that it wasn’t efficient and I really didn’t function well with four hours of sleep (thank goodness Katie was a newborn or she’d be in therapy already). I also shot fewer shots per session. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should–know what I mean? Less is more when technique is good.
Fast forward to about two years ago and the Big Kahuna sat lonely in the corner while I started my new love affair with my iPhone camera. I did have some boundaries this time…being that I’m maturing into my 40’s and all that (ha!).
Yet…I found that the ache to photograph had gone away.
My mojo seemed to be gone.
I launched myself into Personal Projects and a fascination with digital composites took over. Voila! I’m in the fast lane again. So, so fun! I’m reading and learning and taking classes. It’s so good to be back.
I’m finding images popping into my head when I’m blurry eyed in the morning routine and at church. I write them down on tiny pieces of paper and whether they actually get to live somewhere near my computer for inspiration is luck of the draw. So much comes into my head that can’t be described in words….images only work and it is really a thrill to be able to express it with a created world in Photoshop.
You’d probably laugh at my studio antics with my self-timer. I laugh out loud myself sometimes with all the undressing, running, flash-bulbing chaos. So glad I have a lock on the door! I like being able to just go with it and pull out random stuff dwelling in the mess in there….it’s a good way to flirt with that boyfriend again.
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Creating composites for people I love is super-fly-fun. My friend Mignon, who has wanted to be a mom for a long time, got to be one three times over. Her boys are amazing and we had a very, very funny, chaotic time capturing these very busy bees.
I do think being an artist (of any medium) is cyclical and you experience downtime and the fire beneath you…even in the same week, it seems. I’m learning to lean into these times and try to find my way. Wishing away a dry spell isn’t going to cut it…I’m learning that I have to be intentional—experimenting with different mediums has helped a lot in the past too.
Living my way into the answers all the time.
How about you? Do you need a spark?
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If you’re in the area, I’d love to see you at the artist reception for Horse Girl…this is one of the personal projects that brought me back into the land of the living. I love these girls!
Happy weekend to you, lovelies!