Weekend creative time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Such a happy print by Ecojot

Be back with fun stuff to share next week…enjoy your weekend, Lovelies!

OX.

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Post from June 2011~

I do a fair amount of work alone in my studio during the week. It’s either an editing or business day, or I’m blogging or I’m art-ing and sometimes I’m even shooting still life in the camera room alone.

The truth is sometimes all of this alone-ness is lonely.

I am a social person for sure. I’m drawn to banter, joking around, and heart to heart conversation. I didn’t realize how much being alone can alter the environment and how much the altered environment can alter your mood….especially on rainy days that seem to never end out here in the Northwest. This year’s winter/spring, I think, made all of this come to the forefront and I am taking a good long look at it all.

“I paint self portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best.” ~Frida Kahlo

And although I am missing the fabulous Bert uni-brow, I felt like capturing this one-woman-in-her-studio experience recently a la Frida.

I call this “Free fall” :

Something very strange happens when you start the self-portrait process. In addition to looking at the new facial lines that are appearing (this is  a repeat performance, as this happens with bathroom mirror bedtime rituals), you look a little deeper….into the eyes of the person that you know best…what might be at the surface for all to see, but also

what is so much

farther

down

in the heart

that only

I

can identify

with

honesty and truthfulness.

One of my favorite quotes is by Sabrina Ward Harrison from her book “Brave on the Rocks” (if you haven’t read her stuff, I highly recommend it):

“I feel I take on life like a project most of the time. I work hard to “finish myself up” so others get me all “complete and clean” , but I forget to leave room for myself to feel tangled and unmade. But you see, I am feeling these days like those tangled parts are the most interesting parts.”

I think being alone reveals the tangled parts for me. There’s no conversation with another to mask what’s there.  The second guessing and uncertainty can find a crevice to creep in when there’s no one to put their hand on your shoulder in reassurance. It seems silly to need this as a grown woman, but also understandable as a sensitive, creative person who seems to be growing into what she wants to be on a daily basis.

I am finding that there’s a free fall that occurs when you cut the strings of expectation and worry.

It’s scary at first, but the net does seem to appear…or at least I’ve felt it has in the past. The challenge is leaping when you don’t see it…allowing those self expectations to fly out the window and be carried away by gusts of wind.

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